09 to 10

it's an hour to new year 2010, but my heart still full of sorrow and sadness.. Tobe honest i hate new year eve... It's reminds me bout my mom. My mom pass away in new year eve 1995..

December 31st 1994 at 11.00 PM.. She passed away because of disease, she got stroke and diabetes.. she got sick almost a year before passed away.. and at the time she passed away i didn't feel that she's gone

I watched my favorite models on tv at that day... i scream when i saw them, i couldn't feel she's struggling to live at the hospital and finally give up, leave me and my brother alone..

Since that time i always felt sorry for her, i always wish that i could spend my new year eve alone just to remind her and send her a pray.. I hope she listen to me and give me her apologise..

To mom, even you are not here with me again, but you always on my dream, in my mind and heart, i always love you and i'm sorry for all the naughty that made you sad.. I love you MOM...

Read More......

Dilemma

i've been promise to my self, to him too that i won't be greedy. i know that he already had a family but i can't help what i feel with him, that i love him, that i miss him, and that i don't want him to go to Semarang...

it is -2 to new year, tomorrow is new year eve.. i know that i really can't have him in new year eve, but at least i want to talk to him at that night, i want to give him a kiss just by phone, but it's only a dream...

and all i can do is wish u well honey, i hope u will arrive at Semarang with your Family and you can come home safely in Jakarta... I miss you honey and i cant wait to hold you in my arms again, we make love wildly again...

Read More......